Raising children can be both one of the most rewarding yet difficult experiences a person can have. Often, the most rewarding part of parenting is finding something your child excels at.
But for many parents, deciding on the best way to support their child’s interests can be frustrating.
Convincing a child to stick to something and practice appropriately are typically major points of contention in nurturing a child’s talent. Parents might also have ideas about what their child should or could excel at, but the child may have no interest in the skill. Children also might hesitate or lose interest if the skill proves more difficult than previously thought.
However, finding things children excel at is critical for their development, according to Sara Gable, Human Development Extension State Specialist at the University of Missouri.
“Part of a child’s self-esteem comes from feeling competent and skilled at something she or he enjoys,” Gable said. “You can play a big role in helping children to be successful and feel good about themselves.”
Finding the Right Talent
To discover a child’s talents, parents should provide them with opportunities to learn new things and take on new challenges, Gable says. But it’s not enough to constantly churn through new things. Parents need to closely observe their children to learn what will and won’t work.
“By observing children’s behavior, you can learn what children prefer and what yields positive feelings. A child who can’t stay on task during piano lessons and who gets angry when asked to practice may not be the best candidate for music lessons. Keeping a child involved in an unsatisfying activity may keep the child from discovering something more satisfying.”
Communicate Constantly
Part of encouraging children to develop and grow their talents is open communication, according to a Healthwise article for HealthLinkBC.
“Engage your children. Talk to them and spend time together. Encourage conversation in any way you can,” Healthwise advises.
Topics might include current events, the highs and lows of the child’s day, or anything they are showing an interest in, such as art classes or sports. Doing things together, like reading or helping with homework, can also help parents identify what a child excels at.
Praise Effort, Not Talent
“Studies have found that the praise of effort and not the praise of natural ability makes a world of difference. This is because praise of ability leads children to be so geared toward success that they stop taking risks and challenging themselves for fear of making a mistake,” said Dr. Gail Saltz in an article for U.S. News.
That fear can stifle growth because mistakes are opportunities to learn and improve. If a child believes that mistakes are failures, they lose those opportunities.
“The kids who see making mistakes as a good thing because they provide the opportunity to learn, [also] tend to practice more, which results in high talent development,” Saltz says.
Use Appropriate Practice Habits
While parents may think that with enough practice, anyone can become good at anything, that simply isn’t true, Saltz shares.
“Studies have found that while a great deal of practice can make you good at something, it is the deep passion behind what you practice that allows the brain to be bathed in dopamine, the neurotransmitter of reward, which enhances the neural connections further and makes for exceptional talent.”
There is no doubt that both hard work and learning from mistakes are important. Nevertheless, the method of practice is a far more significant contributor to developing real skills.
“Slow practice is also key. By slowing down and breaking any ability into small pieces, something can be perfected and then later sped up,” Saltz says.
Don’t Overload the Child
Parents may be tempted to fill their child’s schedule with extracurriculars and hobbies in the hopes that the child will develop a diverse skill set or social network. However, Saltz says this can hinder a child’s growth opportunities. Activities the parents enjoy may not resonate with the child, and a child can’t be forced into liking something.
“In addition, there are only so many hours in a day. Children who are overscheduled tend to feel highly stressed and have no mental energy left for exploration, curiosity, and creative thinking, the very building blocks for developing a true talent.”
There’s also the problem of skill development. Children who use appropriate slow practice need the ability and interest to devote much of their time to practicing. It’s simply not possible to stretch that time between several differing activities.
Remember: It’s Supposed To Be Fun
One thing most experts agree on is that, when seeking a child’s talents or interests, the best predictor of success is the child’s excitement about the activity or skill.
“Children communicate with us through their eyes, the quality of their voices, their body postures, their gestures, their mannerisms, their smiles, their jumping up and down, their listlessness,” said Dr. Dorothy H. Cohen, in her 1983 book Observing and Recording the Behavior of Young Children.
The more opportunities a child has to be excited, the better chances they have of finding a hidden talent or pursuing a talent once discovered. The best way to encourage a child’s talent is to find what excites them, what they can’t stop talking about, and what they want to spend all their time doing.
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This article was produced by TPR Teaching.
Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.