Parenting should involve trust, open communication, and mutual respect. However, it’s not uncommon for mistakes to happen.
The first step is to recognize triggers that may cause frustration and resentment in your children. Here are 12 ways parents provoke anger in children:
1. Inconsistency
“When parents or caregivers frequently change the rules or their expectations, without any solid reason, it can create confusion and frustration in kids,” says Bayu Prihandito, life coach and certified psychology expert.
“For example, if a child is allowed to play video games on one day for an hour and the next day the child gets reprimanded for the same, it sends mixed signals, leading to anger and upsetment.”
2. Comparisons With Siblings or Peers
“Comparing a child to others can diminish their self-esteem and provoke resentment and anger,” said Katie McCann, a psychologist and parenting blogger.
“Statements like — Why can’t you be more like your brother can damage a child’s confidence as they grow up.”
3. Belittling Their Emotions and Experiences
“When parents trivialize or belittle their children’s feelings, it can be incredibly provoking for them. Children, much like adults, want their emotions and experiences to be respected and acknowledged,” explains Haley Hick, a licensed clinical social worker.
“Even if a situation seems trivial from an adult’s perspective, it can hold great significance for a child.”
4. Use of Harsh Language
“When children are repeatedly subjected to their caregivers’ anger or frustration, it can create a tense and volatile environment that can lead to angry outbursts,” Michelle English, a licensed clinical social worker, reveals.
“Instead of using anger and aggression to communicate, parents or caregivers can try to understand and address the underlying causes of their child’s behavior.”
5. Ignoring Boundaries
“For children to feel safe and comfortable, boundaries are necessary. Anger and bitterness can result from caregivers or parents who routinely transgress boundaries,” Gary Tucker, a licensed physiotherapist, says.
“It’s critical that adults respect their children and set up clear and consistent boundaries.”
6. Overly High Expectations
“When parents set the bar too high, children might feel an unrelenting pressure, leading to feelings of inadequacy and frustration,” notes Jennifer Worley, a clinical director at First Light Recovery.
“Expectations for a child’s performance in sports, academics, or other activities should be realistic.”
7. Over-scheduling
“Children can become exhausted and resentful if they’re not given enough downtime,” according to Tennessee Behavioral Health’s clinical director, Kim Homan.
“This hustle culture seeps into their lives when they are overscheduled with activities, robbing them of the leisure and play vital to their development and well-being.”
8. Breaking Promises
“Trust is fundamental, and when parents break their promises, it can deeply upset children,” Bayu Prihandito, life coach and certified psychology expert, discloses.
“If a parent says they will attend a child’s event and then fails to show up without a valid reason, it can cause the child to feel angry, build resentment, and think that they are not important enough.”
9. Lack of Privacy
“This is failing to respect a child’s need for privacy, such as reading their diary or entering their room without knocking,” Anouschka Venter, a mental health expert and parenting blogger, believes.
“It can lead to anger due to the perceived invasion of their personal space.”
10. Fear-Based Parenting
“Overprotecting children out of fear can hinder their development,” explains Pareen Sehat, a registered clinical counselor.
“While it’s important to keep them safe, shielding them too much from the realities of the world can lead to anger.”
11. The Role of Modeling
“Parents or caregivers who frequently display angry behaviors in front of their children might unknowingly teach them to behave the same way,” notes Ketan Parmar, a mental health expert.
“Parents should be mindful of their behavior and emotions, as their actions serve as an example for their children.”
12. Rigid Communication
“An inability to adapt communication to a child’s agе and comprehension can lеad to misundеrstandings and frustration,” Aanant Bisht, a healing coach, discloses.
The Challenge of Parenting
While parenting can be tasking, taking note of these things that can provoke your child will help you become a better parent.
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This article was produced by TPR Teaching
Caitriona Maria is an education writer and founder of TPR Teaching, crafting inspiring pieces that promote the importance of developing new skills. For 7 years, she has been committed to providing students with the best learning opportunities possible, both domestically and abroad. Dedicated to unlocking students' potential, Caitriona has taught English in several countries and continues to explore new cultures through her travels.